As I sat in a chair on the colorful carpet with a Sunday school song written across it this morning observing one of my client's in his classroom and taking in the excessive myriad of posters, games, art projects, numbers, and alphabet that made up this little place, I was overcome with the feeling of love for children. And, simultaneously overcome with the feeling of dismay and disgust at parents who abandon their children because they cannot get their crap together. It boggles my mind that people get themselves into situations where a child is born that they cannot take care of or is unwanted due to ineptness or drug abuse. Why? Because you just wanted sex? Because you were high or drunk? Because you weren't thinking? I am so excited for the day when I will find out that I am going to be a mother. To nurture and love and play and laugh and cry and tickle and hug and kiss and be silly and teach and be crazy and enjoy every moment with my children.


I am not perfect. I am not a saint. I make mistakes. Daily. I am merely speculating about others' actions so that I may even vaguely comprehend why people do what they do. I saw this dear little boy in his classroom, chubby cheeks and all, intently focused on writing his three sentences about his weekend activities. He smiled with darling dimples which I wanted to kiss and squeeze. He clapped along doing dramatic hand signs to a song about sunshine and joy. He followed obediently and pleased in his line of children to the gym so he could get his engery out. I thought, my God, why would his mom leave this precious child? I know that there is no single answer for why people abandon or choose not to raise their children, but I still seek to discover understanding where there will be none. And, on a related topic, I will continue to hold fast and firm to the fact that abortion is not the answer to my question.