and the award for "unemployed" goes to...all of the above

as i sit here on the couch, another day of nannying going by...another day of changing diapers going by, another day of singing children's songs going by, another day of sacrificing the feeling in my arm for the comfort of a small child...i evaluate with much pondering my current state of life--unemployment. not that i dont have a job that's bringing in some money because i have been baby watching 20-50 hours a week for the last 6 weeks, but i dont have a big kid job yet. i am in my sweats for work and i have my Master's. that's not what i pictured my degree would usher in...black sweats, polar fleece, watching four episodes of The Office while i coax the baby to drink one more ounce of her formula/breast milk concoction.

i have become increasingly diligent about putting time towards job applications, exploring potential organizations, sending out a multitude of emails with "my resume and cover letter attached," and attempting to network as they call that action of using your connections with people for all they are worth. i am perfectly fine with where i am at right now simply because i know that if God had a perfect counseling job for me currently, then i would currently be doing that perfect counseling job. i do not want to feel that my days are wasted or purposeless. that is not the case. nurturing children and attending to them is a noble time investment. i am just looking forward to the day when my time expenditure involves benefits, paid time off, and daily offering my energy towards what i am passionate about.

i did not spend two years in graduate school to effortlessly earn a master's in counseling psychology and then play afterwards with balls and toy cars and worry about when i should change a soggy diaper. i grueled and struggled and pushed with valiant purpose to achieve my degree and the knowledge and experience that came along with it. now, i must gruel, struggle, and push for that next thing i would like to earn in my life...a career. until then, i endeavor to enjoy the time i have giggling, tickling, clapping, singing, reading, galloping, hugging, and smooching those little ones whom i occupy my time with.

my situation feels validated when i hear of others playing the awkward game of job hunting, always ready to aim for an open position, but never able to complete what we have set out to do. needless to say, i am in the same boat as many of my peers. but, whatever attitude they choose to take in the matter, i will be hoping to maintain an attitude of perseverance, optimism, and strength because my purpose on earth is not solely to counsel or any other role i may sometime possess, but to bless the Lord in all i do. and, really, it doesnt matter what i do or what role i take on or whether i am doing what i went to school to do, it matters that i live my life to please God. that makes the whole daunting task of landing a job much less intimidating...