How?

i am just wondering how i will make through 7 more months of grad school. honestly. i am actually supposed to be in class right now, but i am so bored and uninterested that i am checking email for a few minutes to try to re-focus. bad girl! but, how do they expect us to do it? really. we get to torturously and teasingly go through the whole graduation ceremony in 5 months with the rest of northwest university, but are just beginning our summer trimester one week before that only to not finish until the end of freakin' july. yikes. i just want to help people, counsel them, be there when they struggle, let them find a safe place in my presence, pray for them, listen to their stories. instead i am painstakingly counting up hours to meet a wretched quota just to graduate on time, which might not even happen with my minimal sum of internship hours thus far.

truthfully, i think i can let myself have a terrible attitude about it all, but that will only make matters worse. my best defense mechanism: go by God's grace and strength-not my own- and pray for a positive attitude. the more i try to do things on my own, the worse it is because my strength is inadequate compared to the Lord's. i also have to keep in mind that the reason i am learning all of this mumbo jumbo, attending ridiculously lengthy and boring classes, writing excessively long papers, and reading mountain-high stacks of books is to be a better servant of people, not to rack in face-to-face client hours. good grief!

ahh, i feel so much more inspired. i think that i will go back to class for the last hour with at least more purpose. no promises that i wont be bored though.